How many silly fights would be solved by this simple direction. Really, this is life changing.
This is the main thing I hear in schools, “she said this...”, “someone told me she did that...”, “I don’t know why she’s acting like this...”
Have you spoken with her? Asked if she actually did / said that? Told her how you feel? Asked her what’s going on for her?
Nope.
And the fight continues and gets blown totally out of proportion.
Assumptions really destroy.
Oh the time, energy, emotions, pain we would save if we just TALKED IT OUT. TO THE PERSON INVOLVED.
A few tips for talking it out - be mindful of:
WHO you talk to - talk to the person, not everyone else.
WHEN you talk - if you’re super fired up, probably not the best time, go for a quick walk, drink some water, do some deep breaths to calm down before you confront the issue.
HOW you talk - think about your body language, tone, attitude - are you going in to blame, prove wrong, make them feel bad, show who’s boss - this will never end well.
Go into the convo with the goal to FORGIVE AND FORGET - this is not weak, it shows great strength. It also releases you from carrying around bitterness. And helps frame how you speak.
WHAT you say - focus on your feelings instead of pointing out blame. Instead of “you did this”, try, “when this happened, I FELT...”
Really listen to each other. See the best in each other. Don’t assume, ask!
When you talk it out well - your friendship can grow stronger.
👉🏻 So let’s be strong gals who TALK TO people not about them.
👉🏻 Has this happened for you? Any good learnings?
💜Ruth x
