Comparison will rob you of beauty of the season YOU are in, of the unique journey YOU are on, of the courageous steps YOU take, of the big and small wins YOU make, of the story only YOU can tell. We are all on a journey - different paths, different paces, different places. We are all different. And if we compare our chapters, we'll loose the significance and purpose of the pages WE are walking out. Not only will we miss out, but so will everybody else - because no one else has your journey. No one else can tell your story. No one else can encourage others with exactly where you're at. No one else can do you.
So next time we feel tempted to fast forward our story or skip ahead to someone else's, remember your story has purpose. Your story matters. The chapter you are in is yours. No matter where others seem to be up to, your perfectly timed in your chapter. One step at a time.
Have you ever felt inadequate by comparing your chapter with someone else's?
I know I sure have. But no longer.
💜Ruth
Don't Hide What Makes You Real
"Why do we hide what makes us most beautiful? Why do we so often deny our own brokenness? If only we could embrace the very thing we try so tirelessly to conceal...If we could turn our gaze toward the people all around us, we would see that we're not that different after all. Yes, we're all broken; but not without purpose. The brokenness has the power to transform us into the most beautiful mosaic—a glorious and artful display of a life lived well and worthy of love. No need for hiding." Beautiful words from @tiffanyrowe23
Lovely friend, don't hide what makes you REAL and beautiful and unique and shine like no one else x
Look Forward With Hope
The past is in the past. What? So why do we keep bringing it up again as if it's in our future. Not letting it go, but dragging it around wherever we go. Taking it with us into new relationships, new opportunities, new situations. Wearing it as a lens we see our present and future through. And than get confused why we keep repeating the past or feeling like we're still living in it. Well of course we would if we keep holding onto it and putting it in front of each step we take instead of behind us.
But no longer. We can see the past as what it is - the past. Yes it happened, but we choose how we respond. We can choose what lessons we take from it. We choose how we define it. We choose to leave it in the past and have an unwritten future - one we get to write.
We can choose to look forward with hope, knowing that everything is possible, that our past does not define our future, that we get to create it with the choices we make. And then recreate it again with new choices. And again.
So dear friend, no matter what's happened in the past, you get to create your future. Whatever your currently facing right now won't last forever. Hold onto hope and leave the past where it belongs - in the past.
👉💙👉 What's something you've learnt or gained from something you've faced in the past? How can you take the lesson and leave the rest behind? x
💜Ruth x
Note to Self: I CAN
Oh yes you can girl! Don't let "I can't!" be a part of your vocabulary. You can do so much more than you know. Give things a go, take risks, learn from mistakes, try again, keep going, get help, try again, keep going, get help, try again, keep going, get help... A lot of the time we can't do things straight away, and that's normal. But the more we practice, the more we keep going, eventually we look back and say, "wow, I thought this was too hard at the time, but I did it!!!" x
- What's something you can look back on and say, "I did it!"? We'd love to celebrate with you
- What's something you regularly find yourself saying "I can't!" about? Let's get clear about what these are so we can look out for them next time and snip off that T >> I CAN!
We believe in you x
💜Ruth + ChooseREAL Team x
What Defines You
Your past struggles, heartache, and scars may have helped shape you into who you are but they do not define you. Your past may have made you stronger but it doesn’t dictate how you get to live your life. May your past tell the story of how you became who you are but may you never let it tell you who you are going to be now. - MK @marthakatestainsby
You get to choose how you see your past, what labels you give each chapter, what you gain from it, what you bring into your future and what you leave behind. It's all your choice. You define it. And you define who you are today and tomorrow.
What experiences or words have you let define you?
Sweet one, don't let your past make you bitter, trapped, worthless... You get to CHOOSE. You choose how you define those experiences, words and who you are today.
QOTD - What's one thing you've grown from or learnt through your past? What can you be thankful for? x
💜Ruth
Our Worth Is Not Tied To A Number
Because we need to remember that our worth and our value is not tied to a number...a number on our clothes, a number on the scale, or any number that we deem to be "perfect". xo
As someone who spent years crying in dressing rooms, stepping on the scales multiple times a day, just trying to make it to a certain size, who was always trying to achieve that "perfect number", it is not worth it and it was never enough.
I spent years in darkness and sickness because I thought those "perfect numbers" would be enough, but they weren't.
Because our worth, our beauty, our value, is not found in a number or a size. You are not valuable because of a number. You are valuable because you are YOU! You, yourself, just as you are, imperfections and unique flaws are loved, valued, and worthy! You my friend matter.
Rest
Something I need to constantly remind myself. Yes taking time to rest is best for you and everyone around you. Take time to breathe, to be refreshed, to reflect, to regain your strength, to fill your tank, to be inspired, to do what you love... to be refilled so you can overflow into the lives of others.
But you can't give out what you don't have. And you can't flow when you've run dry. If you're feeling empty or running on reserves, make time to fill up, to rest and restore. It's not selfish, it's the best thing you can do right now for all, including you.
Give yourself and others permission to rest. How do you find rest best? x
Sharing the Journey Together
Hey lovely, how's your week been? Thinking of you x
Mines been a bit up and down with sickness, extreme exhaustion, feeling unproductive, at times overwhelmed, giving into some discouraging thoughts - yep even after I wrote that post!! So then feeling hard on myself and needing to stop, be kind and speak the truth over my life - still learning with you.
This week has also had some big wins, meeting amazing people who are generously supporting the vision of this movement and standing with us, hearing incredible stories, eating food (always a plus haha), having a wonderful team to help organize our beautiful merch and resources (their hearts inspire me), and last night I ran a workshop with some beautiful girls - all unique with so much gold to share with those around them.
THIS is what I love doing - investing into their potential, peeling back the layers of limiting beliefs and self-talk that have distorted their REAL identity and worth and empowering them to see what was always there - they are whole, complete, not lacking, worthy and more than enough, just as they are! Seeing their transformation gives me the fire to keep going, to kick those audacious goals I've set to give this freedom, hope and courage to ALL girls and women everywhere. Haha, got a little carried away with that last point - just so incredibly passionate about this and LOVE journeying alongside girls and women in this message.
So why did I tell you about my week? Because we're friends. Because I wanted you to feel comfortable to share about yours. Because we're all here for each other and our story is worth sharing - no matter what chapter.
So share away lovely friend. You never know the impact of simply sharing (for you and others). Love sharing this journey together.
💜Ruth x
📷 from the beautiful @floretflower
Progress Over Perfection
The illusion of perfection is that it will be everything you’ve ever wanted and more. Perfection says, that suddenly when you get there all will be right. However, what perfection doesn’t tell you is that it is not real. Nope not one thing about perfection is real. It's impossible. It can never be attained.
So what if today you strived for progress over perfection? What if you believed that first step was a big deal, that small change was actually huge? What if you believed that progress was even better than perfection? When progress becomes the goal over perfection you allow a whole more light and beauty to seep in to your life.
Instead of always feeling like you're constantly failing, you allow yourself to actually WIN - every step you make. Instead of being so focused on getting it right, you allow yourself to actually enjoy the journey - messes and all.
So let's aim for progress and celebrate each step. What's a step you can celebrate from last week with us? x
Your Passions
Working in schools, I met with Erin, a year 6 girl who told me the popular girls told her she had to change her hair, her clothes AND her personality if she wanted to fit in. This broke my heart, she had no idea how valuable she was and was willing to trade in her REAL identity for what she thought she HAD to be. The saddest part was that she thought this was the only answer. She was about to become a clone to please others, throwing away her own interests, values, talents, goals and dreams.
Unfortunately, this is not a rare story. But this story, fired me up. That is ENOUGH! Our girls have to know their worth and value – not based on how others see them, their past, or what the media says, but because they have always been MORE THAN ENOUGH.
This is how ChooseREAL Campaign was born. I wanted to create a platform to bring freedom around the onslaught of debilitating messages of NOT ENOUGH! Encouraging girls and women to embrace and celebrate their REAL identity and value, and live the life they CHOOSE. Living out the truth that no mater what, we are MORE THAN ENOUGH, just as we are.
I am so privilege to share this journey with you as we create a shift in our culture of true acceptance (of ourselves and each other). We love the empowering community we are all creating. Thank you for what you bring.
💜Ruth
What fires you up? What are you passionate about? x
Your Story Is Worth Sharing Now
I've had so many people say, "I'll share my story when I get through this" or "when I fix that" or "when things change". But your story is ever-evolving.
Wherever you're at, NOW is the time to share your story. Crumpled pages and all.
Don't be afraid to reveal what connects us together - the real moments in life. The good, the bad, the rough, the smooth, the process. Don't hide what you're really facing from those who care.
Who can you share what's happening in this chapter of your story - sharing it helps you own it and create the themes and headings that empower you. We're all in this together.
Your story is not finished. And we can't wait to share together in the pages.
Just Breathe
Breathe, just breathe. Starting another week can be tough for some of us, feeling already so exhausted and even overwhelmed before we've even started. But remember, you made it through last week, and the week before, and the week before that. And you'll make it through this week too.
Let's reframe our perspective and focus, so we don't keep dwelling on the challenges but feel energized and inspired.
Here's a few things we can do, we'll be doing them with you:
• write down everything that's on your mind - all your to dos, your concerns, thoughts etc. Get them out of your mind and onto paper, where you can start to sort through them and find solutions, let go of things you can't change and do the things you can.
• prioritize - what are the top 3 things you need to get done today
• remind yourself and celebrate your wins - write down 3 things you've overcome or achieved last week - can be big or small... Like finished or started something, got through something, learnt something etc. • write down 3 different things you're thankful for everyday - really boosts your perspective
• do something you love everyday - even if it's just for 5 mins. Something that brings you joy and satisfaction, something you're passionate about, something for you
• keep your focus on your WHY not the challenge or task. When you start to feel overwhelmed, it's usually because you are so focused on the task or challenges. Step back, look up and remind yourself of why you're doing what you're doing, the passion, the meaning, the value behind it. Focus on that - let that be the motivator. You can even put it up somewhere you can see it regularly - words, statement, pictures, whatever inspires you and reminds you of your why.
• remind yourself of your worth and value. Your words create reality. So speak words of life over you and those around you. Repeat: I AM WORTHY. I BELONG. I AM STRONG. I AM... You fill in the blank. Remind yourself and continually repeat until you believe and live out what you're saying.
Breathe. You've got this. It's a brand new day and you are more than capable.
Share where you're at, how some of these points went, what are your tips to start the week x
What Are You Choosing
What are you choosing today? It's totally up to you. You get to choose your attitude, your perspective, your words, your actions, your mindset, and who you will be today.
It's all up to you. You can choose the REAL you, not based on what you think others want, but who you really want to be.
You can choose to be thankful, to see past the challenges and into the opportunities, to be kind to everyone (including yourself), to look for the good in others, to get a fresh perspective. You've got the power x
So what do YOU CHOOSE? It can be helpful to say it out aloud. And yes, we stuff up and don't always get it right and forget what we choose. But that's ok, just keep choosing. Maybe write it down and put it somewhere to remind yourself. You've got this x
📷taken by the lovely @thepaperfox for us
How Are You Seeing Yourself
Don't let the opinions of others define you darling. They are opinions, ideas and judgements, not facts, not truth.
Is it even our business what they think? That's just their personal view. And we all have a million opinions about everything - so many uninformed.
We can never control how others see us but we can choose how we see ourselves.
So let's focus on what we can control and see ourselves as the beautifully amazing human beings we are, with so much to offer those around us and so much potential within us.
Make the switch. Who's opinions do you need to stop worrying about? It's not your business what they think anyways, it's just thoughts.
And how are you seeing yourself? What's one thing you admire about yourself? Embrace it lovely x
Fresh Start
New day. New week. Fresh start. Let go of whatever you didn't do last week or wish you hadn't done. That is the past. It's behind you. Walk into this week with a fresh attitude, a clean slate. Don't bring the disappointment with you. Acknowledge it, but now you have the chance to let it go and start over.
Don't start the week already thinking you're failing before you even give yourself the chance to make it. You are not a failure.
So let's dive into this week, forgiving ourselves for whatever we're holding onto, letting it go and really giving ourselves our best chance to flourish this week... It's all in the attitude. Be your own cheer squad. Be kind to yourself and celebrate each step. You've got this. And we're standing with you x
📷hellomondayblog
You Are Enough
Just as you are. You don't need anyone else to tell you or make you feel enough. You are enough and you can start living that right now. You choose.
Shift your view of your worth: ••• apologize to yourself for when you have been nasty and making you feel not enough. Any words you have spoken to yourself that hasn't been uplifting ••• forgive yourself ••• now speak worth and life over your life. Try speaking into the mirror (I know awkward, but powerful). You are enough. You have worth. You are loved. You are unique. You are significant. You matter. You are brave and smart and strong and capable.
The more we speak it, the more we believe it.
Let's become our own cheer squad. You go girl. You are so enough right now.
You've got this.
📷alwaysqueenb
Self Talk
I can be so hard on myself. Thinking I should do better, be further ahead, know more, not slip up, basically be perfect. But that's impossible! And every time I mess up or step backwards or simply have a hard day, instead of being kind to myself, being encouraging, uplifting and understanding... I can be so critical, unforgiving, harsh and have such unrealistic expectations. I would never treat my friends the way I sometimes treat myself. BUT I'm learning to speak to myself the way I speak to those I love. Listen to my own advice. Know that wherever I am right now is ok. That every step forward (even the smallest one) matters. That it's ok not to always be ok. And that I don't need to get it right all the time. I am more than enough, just as I am.
Let's talk to ourselves with love, kindness, grace and forgiveness. Sometimes we're doing the best we can with what we have and that's enough.
Don't be too hard on yourself lovely, we're all on a journey x 💜Ruth
Time to Stop People Pleasing
"Hey you, you sweet people pleaser, it's time to stop. I hate to say it, but you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea (I'm more of a coffee girl, anyway!) If you're out there trying to be everything to everyone, chances are you aren't the happiest princess in the land and that makes me sad!
The truth is, we don't need to show up for everyone. In fact, when we focus on showing up for our tribe well, and forget about the rest, they fade off, and we build this sweet community that does big things, GIANT things!
People will inspire you or drain you, so stop trying to make everyone happy and choose wisely! Surround yourself with the good ones, the dreamers, the kind souls, the people who reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel.
It's contagious (and when all else fails, eat a giant spoon of Nutella and call it good!)" Jenna Kutcher
Let's have a chocolatey kind of weekend chasing our own kind of happiness. Who's been inspiring you lately? Give them a shout out x
📷quote and pic by the amazing @jennakutcher
What Will You Choose This Week
You choose. Make this week count. Excuses are easy, common, feel safe and known... But what makes change requires strength and courage (sometimes to step into the unknown)... Qualities YOU posses. Progress requires action. Even just one step. But it's your choice.
What will you choose this week? What is an area in your life that you want to change, or improve or let go of? What's one small step you can take forward? Remember, you are not alone. And there's nothing wrong with you. We're all on a journey of progress and growth x
Choose Your Focus
So your week might not have worked out like you planned (mine certainly didn't). But that doesn't mean today can't be a brand new day. And even if those circumstances haven't changed or even get worse, there's still always a reason to say YAY.
You may feel flat and disappointed (like me), or even worse, but we still have something that can never be taken away - to CHOOSE OUR ATTITUDE / FOCUS / ACTIONS.
And really, I want to have a great day, so I'm letting go of what's happened and what didn't happen and choosing to find the good in what's right in front of me. Being thankful for where I am right now. Looking for moments to whisper YAY! Today, no matter what happens, I want to end it saying yay > even for the smallest of things.
What are you wanting to focus on today? What attitude are you choosing? x
Remember, no matter what's happened, you are MORE THAN ENOUGH! 💜Ruth x
P.S. If you feel you can't choose your attitude, there's no hope, why bother >> don't struggle alone, reach out, we're here for you, there's always a way, and it's ok not to be ok right now. Just don't do it alone. Your story is worth sharing and not over yet x
📷omghow
