Belonging and fitting in are not the same thing. In fact, fitting in gets in the way of belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. CHANGING yourself to fit in.
What We can Control
Replacing Criticism with Compassion
Comparing Ourselves to Unrealistic Versions of Ourselves
People Pleasing Hides the Real You
Dear Stress, Let's Break Up
When I Accept Myself...
Letting Go of Control
“One day she finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in life. And with that she realised the only control she had was how she chose to handle them. So, she made the decision to survive [and even thrive] using courage, humour and grace. She was the Queen of her own life and the choice was hers”
Unstoppable
Loving Ourselves
How often do you only see flaws, like laser vision, missing all your beauty and strength and only seeing disappointments. I know I have! But so often, we are not even looking at ourselves as we are - we are seeing ourselves through distorted filters and labels and unrealistic expectations and lies and comparing ourselves. But we were never meant to be compared - with are unique, one of a kind, without compare.
Accepting Ourselves
Letting Go Of 'Should Be'
We all get trapped in "shoulds", "woulds", "what ifs"... but you don't have to be anything other than who you really are. I know I did this - I would try and change myself to what I thought others wanted, to fit in. Letting go of who I was to be like everyone else. But it was confusing, lonely, empty. I didn't feel accepted because I didn't accept myself.
Look Forward With Hope
Strength Finders
When I Accept Myself
Be in the Moment
What Are You Letting Go Of
It's Better to be Yourself
When I was in high school, I allowed people and experiences and perceptions to define me. To tell me if I was good enough - which I didn't hear. To give me worth and value - which I didn't feel.
I didn't know who I really was, so tried to mould myself to be accepted, to fit in, to be like those around me. But I was left feeling empty, confused and alone.
This was not who I was, this was not who I wanted to be. I was loosing my true self in an attempt to fit in to those around me. Trying to figure out being me but feeling less-than, not knowing my true worth and value and letting others blind me from it.
This was one of the most challenging times in my life. But what was at the core was not accepting my value and worth. Not embracing and celebrating my own identity - whether it "fit" into others or not. Not knowing that I defined me, no one else. Not giving myself grace as I figure it all out.
If I could give my younger self some advice, I'd say, sweet girl, you don't need to be like anyone else. You are unique. You have qualities that no one else has. Find people who you admire and share your values. Don't let the words and actions of others define you - it is all coming from their own insecurities. Keep being kind to everyone. Be kind to yourself. Be for others who you wish other people would be for you (treat them how you'd want to be treated). Don't compare! And know that no matter what, you are MORE THAN ENOUGH, just as you are.
- Are you finding you are loosing yourself to "fit in" with others? o
- What advice would you share with a friend? What advice would you tell your younger self? o
- Do your friends allow and encourage you to be yourself? Do you encourage your friends to be themselves? o
Sweet girl, we need you to be you! There's no one else that can "fit in" to that amazing role. Only you. 💜Ruth x
Your Story Is Worth Sharing Now
I've had so many people say, "I'll share my story when I get through this" or "when I fix that" or "when things change". But your story is ever-evolving.
Wherever you're at, NOW is the time to share your story. Crumpled pages and all.
Don't be afraid to reveal what connects us together - the real moments in life. The good, the bad, the rough, the smooth, the process. Don't hide what you're really facing from those who care.
Who can you share what's happening in this chapter of your story - sharing it helps you own it and create the themes and headings that empower you. We're all in this together.
Your story is not finished. And we can't wait to share together in the pages.
What Are You Choosing
What are you choosing today? It's totally up to you. You get to choose your attitude, your perspective, your words, your actions, your mindset, and who you will be today.
It's all up to you. You can choose the REAL you, not based on what you think others want, but who you really want to be.
You can choose to be thankful, to see past the challenges and into the opportunities, to be kind to everyone (including yourself), to look for the good in others, to get a fresh perspective. You've got the power x
So what do YOU CHOOSE? It can be helpful to say it out aloud. And yes, we stuff up and don't always get it right and forget what we choose. But that's ok, just keep choosing. Maybe write it down and put it somewhere to remind yourself. You've got this x
📷taken by the lovely @thepaperfox for us
