Being Yourself

Now that’s true beauty and that’s what the world needs – more of YOU! 🙌🏻 Be Brave. Be YOU. Be Free. Just be yourself – that is the most beautiful version you can be. ⠀
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Start today with a fresh goal - today, I will be my self. In this moment, I will be myself - not what I think others want, but who I really am. ⠀
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Daily steps of courage. Don't so be hard on yourself when you don't get it right. Learn. Grow. Keep stepping forward. This is a journey and a process.⠀
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👉🏻 What is one thing you can do today, to be more true to yourself? ⠀
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🙌🏻 Who could you encourage and celebrate their unique beauty? Be a part of their story to embracing who they really are. ⠀
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💜Ruth x⠀

It's Better to be Yourself

When I was in high school, I allowed people and experiences and perceptions to define me. To tell me if I was good enough - which I didn't hear. To give me worth and value - which I didn't feel.

I didn't know who I really was, so tried to mould myself to be accepted, to fit in, to be like those around me. But I was left feeling empty, confused and alone.

This was not who I was, this was not who I wanted to be. I was loosing my true self in an attempt to fit in to those around me. Trying to figure out being me but feeling less-than, not knowing my true worth and value and letting others blind me from it.

This was one of the most challenging times in my life. But what was at the core was not accepting my value and worth. Not embracing and celebrating my own identity - whether it "fit" into others or not. Not knowing that I defined me, no one else. Not giving myself grace as I figure it all out.

If I could give my younger self some advice, I'd say, sweet girl, you don't need to be like anyone else. You are unique. You have qualities that no one else has. Find people who you admire and share your values. Don't let the words and actions of others define you - it is all coming from their own insecurities. Keep being kind to everyone. Be kind to yourself. Be for others who you wish other people would be for you (treat them how you'd want to be treated). Don't compare! And know that no matter what, you are MORE THAN ENOUGH, just as you are.

- Are you finding you are loosing yourself to "fit in" with others? o
- What advice would you share with a friend? What advice would you tell your younger self? o
- Do your friends allow and encourage you to be yourself? Do you encourage your friends to be themselves? o

Sweet girl, we need you to be you! There's no one else that can "fit in" to that amazing role. Only you. 💜Ruth x

Comparing Our Bloopers to Their Highlight Reel

How often do we look at other peoples' lives and wish ours were different. Comparing our bloopers with their highlight reel. Wishing away our unique talents and gifts for some of theirs. But lovely one, they are only showing us what they WANT us to see. We're not seeing the whole picture. Most are not showing us how they failed that exam, their bad hair day, how they stayed in bed all day - feeling too overwhelmed to get up, the breakout on their face, how they cried themselves to sleep, when they stayed at home coz they didn't have anyone to hang out with, the mess around their house etc... And sometimes if they do, it's with a specific purpose for attention.

I am definitely not talking about all the amazing accounts out there that are truly being real and vulnerable about their lives - sharing the good and challenging and genuinely inviting others into their story, empowering us to know that we are not alone. These beautiful people are raw and honest and their aim is to inspire and empower.

No, I'm just wanting us NOT TO COMPARE our lives with anyone. To know that usually, we are not seeing the whole picture, we are seeing through a filter. And we can't compare our raw, unfiltered lives with the edited, cropped lives we see around us. Let's think about it, do you usually show everyone around you all your struggles and failures and breakdown and fears and worries and insecurities and bloopers? Maybe not. So why would they?
Comparing will rob us of the joy of our own lives.

So let's remember this week as we look at the lives around us - we are only seeing part of the picture and it could be through a filter. Let's not get bitter, but celebrate others and be thankful for what we have.

What's one thing in your life you are thankful for?

Thanks for journeying with us! We're all in this together.
💜Ruth x

Spring Clean of our Thoughts

Who else feels like this? When there is so much going on, so many things to do, so many things trying to distract our identity, distort our view, grab our attention - good or bad... We can feel on overload, overwhelm, likes there's just too many tabs open in our mind. Sometimes it's really hard to sort through them, to have clarity around even a few, to feel so overwhelmed that we can't even do any of it, don't know where to start.

I've been there for sure! In fact I'm feeling that way right now - just so many things going on that its hard to know where to start, what to focus on, sometimes I'd rather do nothing.

So what can we do when we feel way too many tabs are open? Well like when your computer is slowing down, crashing, force quitting things - and you realize there's too much open, you start closing things down, only leaving open what you need for the moment. Of course your computer can't work efficiently or properly when it's so cluttered. Same with us. Of course you can't expect yourself to feel at peace, to get through things, to make changes when your mind is so cluttered and full.

So let's have a SPRING CLEAN OUT together! One of the best ways is to write your thoughts down - then you can start to categorize them and declutter.

Write down everything you're thinking, what you're worrying about, waiting for, wishing for, needing/wanting to do, plans, goals, fears, struggles, limiting beliefs, self-talk... Get it all out. Whatever comes up, write it down - even simply dot point it.

Then start to sort through it... You can categorize it
- what needs to get thrown out - you can literally throw in the bin
- what is for later - don't need to think about them now - put on a separate list - you can break these down into next week / month / term / year / 2 years etc
- what is urgent AND important - top priorities - feel free to order these too. Also best to write a NEXT STEP ACTION for each
- helpful, encouraging thoughts / self-talk
- anything that doesn't serve you well goes

Let's declutter our brains and focus on the thoughts that inspire and lift us up x
💜Ruth

What Makes You Happy

Here's what brain research says will MAKE YOU HAPPY:
1. Ask "What am I grateful for?" If you don't have any answers? Doesn't matter. Just searching helps.
Booster - write down 3 things you're thankful for today.
2. Label those negative emotions. Give it a name and your brain isn't so bothered by it.
Booster - try and be aware of the emotions you experience today - label them, even if you're not sure what they are, just give them a name, even Bob!
3. Decide. Go for "good enough" instead of "best decision ever made on Earth". o
Booster - make decisions today and take action. Even if you need to change them later, at least you tried and started.
4. Hugs, hugs, hugs. Don't text — touch.
Booster - go interact with people today. Hang out with friends, family, encourage someone.

But also know, it's ok not to always be ok. However you're feeling, let it help you find out what's going on for you, what might need to change, where you might need help. Feelings are good. Just try to let them show you something, instead of letting them rule you. But of course, they are times when we just need help to sort through all the feelings - it's too overwhelming, and that's ok and normal. You're not alone.
xo

Believe In You

We believe in YOU! But do you? Oh girl, I've been there. Thinking I didn't have what it takes, I wasn't enough, I've stuffed up too many times, I don't have what she has, I don't look like her, I've never done that before, I'm not worth it, no one sees me, what have I got to offer... But what we believe about ourselves is vitally important. It will either limit us or empower us.

What are you believing about yourself? What lies have you believed? Let's exchange and replace them with the truth of who you really are. You are valuable, you are worthy, you are strong, you are courageous, you are significant, you are loved, you are capable, you belong... Here's just a few truths about you to get you started.

How is it that we can so often see the worth and significance of those around us, but are blinded to what's in us.
Let's walk into this week knowing who we truly are.

What believes do you need to let go of? What believes do you need to reaffirm?

So grateful to share this journey together x
💜Ruth

You Define You

Oh yes you do. It’s not your past, not their labels of you, not those words spoken over you, not their expectations or disappointments, not how you look or feel, not how the world sees you, not your mistakes or even your triumphs, but how YOU SAY you are.
You get to choose how you see your past, what labels you give each chapter, what you gain from it, what you bring into your future and what you leave behind. It’s all your choice. You define it. And you define who you are today and tomorrow.

P R A C T I C A L S T E P S

1. RE-LABEL - Think back over your past and the major themes, events, chapters (good and bad). Give them all new labels / chapter headings. Ones that speak into the lessons / the growth / the hidden blessings looking back / the launch pads to where you are now / the journey / the battles and the victories. You choose how you view your past. You can rewrite your past by giving new empowering headings. Not seeing it all as a blurred mess or full of regrets and disasters. There’s good in every situation. So search for it and reframe it so it no longer haunts you. Our mistakes and pain are not the ending, they are lessons and launch pads to something greater. You define your past.

2. COLLECT THE BLESSINGS - As you look back over, collect some of the lessons you learnt from your past, some of what helped you become who you are today (positive and negative). Look for the hidden blessings, the wins, the things to be thankful for.

3. WHAT’S RULING YOU NOW. Look at your life now. Are there any areas in your life that you have let your past define? Maybe how you see yourself? Maybe how you see or treat others? How you let others treat you? What you constantly think about? Your attitude to things? What activities you engage in? How you feel about people or circumstances?

What experiences or words have you let define you?

Now you get to CHOOSE. You choose how you define those experiences, words and who you are today.

Sweet one, don’t let your past make you bitter, trapped, worthless... You define it. You define you. 💜Ruth

You're a Limited Edition

“I was a little over two when I realized that beauty mattered, way too young for a little girl to discover whether she was beautiful or not. I loved watching and participating in fashion shows at an early age and I loved watching beauty pageants. I was a little girl who loved anything to do with pretty dresses, high heels, and sparkles. This girly love wasn’t all together a bad thing, until I let it define and take over me. However, once my quest for beauty began is when I lost it all.

Mirrors tortured and taunted me, no matter what anyone else said. Every time I heard the words, “You’re beautiful.” it was all I could do not to laugh, because there was no way I could have believed it.

The mirror is where I found my truth. If the mirror said I looked good (which it rarely did) than the day would go well and if the mirror showed that one hair was out of place than game over. For me, overcoming my beauty issues had a whole heck of a lot to do with me not seeing myself as beautiful. They were all lies and I know that now but it can still be difficult. It didn’t just happen overnight and it certainly didn’t happen without a whole lot of work. As a woman, I think I can safely say that I believe all women struggle with the idea of beauty and feeling beautiful. We live in a society that is rampant with ideas of beauty, false, unattainable, unrealistic standards of beauty. It wasn’t until I finally realized and accepted that beauty wasn’t in a made up face, it wasn’t in high fashioned clothes, it wasn’t in a size zero, that it began to sink in.

What I realized was that no one could be beautiful like me and no one could be beautiful like you, because we are one of a kind, limited additions. My friend there is no one in the world just like you and that is more beautiful than you will ever know.” Beautiful words and heart from MK

Excuses or Discipline

We can make an excuse for everything. But do we want our lives to be a series of excuses or of actions, exciting experiences, growth, goals achieved, habits changed, adventures, living life to the full? You are strong. Your excuses can be strong too. But you get to choose who wins.

Recently I heard a definition of DISCIPLINE that really helped >> Discipline is choosing between what you want NOW and what you want MOST.

The short-term pay off OR the long-term prize.

The short-term pay off (instant pleasure / desire, temporary comfort, wants etc) OR the long-term prize (lasting change, deeper desire, growth, maturity, lasting pleasure, joy, peace, health etc). xo
We get to choose the pain. The pain of discipline now or the pain of excuses, consequences and regret later. We get to choose which pain we embrace

Yes it can be painful to not give in to excuses - it's tough! It can feel more comfortable, easy and safe to make excuses. But stepping out, being disciplined, taking risks, making changes may feel painful/challenging to start but well worth it.

So lovely friend, what will you CHOOSE? We're standing with you and cheering you on. We've all got excuses and things we need to be disciplined in. Let's do this together.

What excuses do you hear yourself repeating? What excuses do you want to let go of? What do you need to be disciplined in? You are strong enough. You are not alone x
💜Ruth x

Your Story Has Purpose

Comparison will rob you of beauty of the season YOU are in, of the unique journey YOU are on, of the courageous steps YOU take, of the big and small wins YOU make, of the story only YOU can tell. We are all on a journey - different paths, different paces, different places. We are all different. And if we compare our chapters, we'll loose the significance and purpose of the pages WE are walking out. Not only will we miss out, but so will everybody else - because no one else has your journey. No one else can tell your story. No one else can encourage others with exactly where you're at. No one else can do you.

So next time we feel tempted to fast forward our story or skip ahead to someone else's, remember your story has purpose. Your story matters. The chapter you are in is yours. No matter where others seem to be up to, your perfectly timed in your chapter. One step at a time.

Have you ever felt inadequate by comparing your chapter with someone else's?
I know I sure have. But no longer.
💜Ruth

Don't Hide What Makes You Real

"Why do we hide what makes us most beautiful? Why do we so often deny our own brokenness? If only we could embrace the very thing we try so tirelessly to conceal...If we could turn our gaze toward the people all around us, we would see that we're not that different after all. Yes, we're all broken; but not without purpose. The brokenness has the power to transform us into the most beautiful mosaic—a glorious and artful display of a life lived well and worthy of love. No need for hiding." Beautiful words from @tiffanyrowe23

Lovely friend, don't hide what makes you REAL and beautiful and unique and shine like no one else x

Look Forward With Hope

The past is in the past. What? So why do we keep bringing it up again as if it's in our future. Not letting it go, but dragging it around wherever we go. Taking it with us into new relationships, new opportunities, new situations. Wearing it as a lens we see our present and future through. And than get confused why we keep repeating the past or feeling like we're still living in it. Well of course we would if we keep holding onto it and putting it in front of each step we take instead of behind us.

But no longer. We can see the past as what it is - the past. Yes it happened, but we choose how we respond. We can choose what lessons we take from it. We choose how we define it. We choose to leave it in the past and have an unwritten future - one we get to write.

We can choose to look forward with hope, knowing that everything is possible, that our past does not define our future, that we get to create it with the choices we make. And then recreate it again with new choices. And again.

So dear friend, no matter what's happened in the past, you get to create your future. Whatever your currently facing right now won't last forever. Hold onto hope and leave the past where it belongs - in the past.

👉💙👉 What's something you've learnt or gained from something you've faced in the past? How can you take the lesson and leave the rest behind? x
💜Ruth x

Go Girl!

Go girl! Let's REBEL AGAINST our culture's unrealistic expectations of perfectionism, comparison and the constant messages of NOT ENOUGH.

Let's be our own kind of TREND SETTERS. Those who define our own worth - not based on how others see us, but because we are loved, we belong, and we are more than enough, just as we are (all always true, not matter how we feel). Those who embrace and celebrate our REAL identity and value. Those who CHOOSE the life we want to live. Those who accept ourselves and others. Those who celebrate and support others to be all they can be. Those who stand up for those who can't, for what they believe in and are passionate about. Those who chase THEIR dreams. Those who live without fear of others opinions. Those who look for beauty in everything. Those who build up not tear down. Those who embrace not exclude. Those who love not hate. Those just like you, the REAL you.

Remember, this is a daily journey. Step by step. Yes we fall. Yes we find ourselves camouflaged in our culture's norms. Yes we forget our worth. Yes we can crumple under the pressure. Yes we don't always get it right. And that's ok. That's part of the journey. Be kind to yourself as you figure it out.

>> How do/can you rebel against our culture's pressures? You go girl! We salute you 🎉👌💙😍💜👊💃.
💜Ruth x

Note to Self: I CAN

Oh yes you can girl! Don't let "I can't!" be a part of your vocabulary. You can do so much more than you know. Give things a go, take risks, learn from mistakes, try again, keep going, get help, try again, keep going, get help, try again, keep going, get help... A lot of the time we can't do things straight away, and that's normal. But the more we practice, the more we keep going, eventually we look back and say, "wow, I thought this was too hard at the time, but I did it!!!" x

- What's something you can look back on and say, "I did it!"? We'd love to celebrate with you
- What's something you regularly find yourself saying "I can't!" about? Let's get clear about what these are so we can look out for them next time and snip off that T >> I CAN!

We believe in you x
💜Ruth + ChooseREAL Team x

Just Keep Swimming

For those days when the waves just keep coming, when your energy is low and your emotions are high, when you feel like you're sinking or wading through shallows... Advice from our fishy friend Dory - "🎶just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming🎶". One swish at a time. You'll get there lovely.

And remember, not matter how deep in the depths of the waters you feel, the surface is always above you - that doesn't change - there is always a way up and out. It can take some time to reach the surface, but it's there, don't loose hope sweet one. And as Dori did, you meet some pretty interesting characters along the way if you look out for them. Even in those darkest caves, they still found light and something to be encouraged by - look for your light moments too and just keep swimming. We're swimming with you x

What Lies Are Holding You Back

"For the last five years I have been in recovery from an eating disorder. When I was in the deepest darkest days of my eating disorder, beauty meant one thing, it meant being thin.

However, no matter how desperately thin I got, it was never enough. I could never see myself as beautiful, only ugly. My view of myself was defined in something temporary, in something that the world tells me is important - my size, perfection, accessories. My beauty was defined by my physical appearance, which is something that will never be perfect. It was all lies". MK

So some of the lies holding MK back were around her physical appearance
- You are beautiful when you're thin.
- You have to look like the girls in magazines to be liked.
For me, some of the lies holding me back were
- You are accepted based on how others treat you.
- You have to prove yourself and your worth to others.
- You are not enough.
- You don't belong.
- There's something wrong with you.

These lies will keep us trapped and distort our real identity and worth.

To get free from the lies, we first need to know what lies we are believing about ourselves.

So let's take some time to uncover those sneaky lies that have camouflaged themselves as reality in our mind. Talk with a friend. Write down unhelpful things you say to yourself or believe about yourself. What is holding you back? What stops you feeling free? Let's uncover these lies and start journeying to freedom.

Would you courageously share some of your lies to help others uncover theirs? And to release the power of them being hidden in shame - you have nothing to feel shamed about. We all have believed lies - they are NOT who we are. They are false. Speak it out. Let's start believing the truth. We're standing with you x
💜Ruth and the ChooseREAL Team x
Thank you MK for sharing your courageous story with us and empowering us all

Our Worth Is Not Tied To A Number

Because we need to remember that our worth and our value is not tied to a number...a number on our clothes, a number on the scale, or any number that we deem to be "perfect". xo
As someone who spent years crying in dressing rooms, stepping on the scales multiple times a day, just trying to make it to a certain size, who was always trying to achieve that "perfect number", it is not worth it and it was never enough.

I spent years in darkness and sickness because I thought those "perfect numbers" would be enough, but they weren't.

Because our worth, our beauty, our value, is not found in a number or a size. You are not valuable because of a number. You are valuable because you are YOU! You, yourself, just as you are, imperfections and unique flaws are loved, valued, and worthy! You my friend matter.

Stop and Smell the Flowers

Who else feels like our weekends can be so full that you need the week to recover from them 😁, but so often they are just as full.

Sometimes it can feel like we're on a spinning hamster wheel, going round and round and round with sometimes no pit stops. And in the spin, we can loose our why, our purpose, our focus, our passion. And find ourselves not even remembering what we're doing or why we started in the first place or even getting bitter about what we once loved.

Let's not let us get to this place of burn out (been on my way to this station many times). And instead MAKE TIME, CREATE SPACE, SCHEDULE REST, so that even in the midst of crazy busy, we're still enjoying life, pursuing our passion, and feeling energized by what we're doing instead of completely drained. Don't feel bad if this is where you're at, to be honest I'm on the edge here too. But as soon as you realize, you can make steps to change. Or get others to help. Sometimes you just need to completely stop, take time off, get refreshed, while other times you can keep going with smaller pit stops. You know what you need. But listen to that louder than all the demands on your life.

So even if you're completely flat out this weekend, carve out even just a little (few mins if that's all you have) of time to be refreshed, do what you love, reflect and remember your purpose/passion/why you're doing what you're doing.

You're doing amazingly. And as we go, let's look for the beauty in everything around us to light up this crazy journey - stop and smell the flowers.

So what have you got on this weekend? x
💜Ruth
📷@floretflower

Rest

Something I need to constantly remind myself. Yes taking time to rest is best for you and everyone around you. Take time to breathe, to be refreshed, to reflect, to regain your strength, to fill your tank, to be inspired, to do what you love... to be refilled so you can overflow into the lives of others.

But you can't give out what you don't have. And you can't flow when you've run dry. If you're feeling empty or running on reserves, make time to fill up, to rest and restore. It's not selfish, it's the best thing you can do right now for all, including you.

Give yourself and others permission to rest. How do you find rest best? x