You Define You

Oh yes you do. It’s not your past, not their labels of you, not those words spoken over you, not their expectations or disappointments, not how you look or feel, not how the world sees you, not your mistakes or even your triumphs, but how YOU SAY you are.
You get to choose how you see your past, what labels you give each chapter, what you gain from it, what you bring into your future and what you leave behind. It’s all your choice. You define it. And you define who you are today and tomorrow.

P R A C T I C A L S T E P S

1. RE-LABEL - Think back over your past and the major themes, events, chapters (good and bad). Give them all new labels / chapter headings. Ones that speak into the lessons / the growth / the hidden blessings looking back / the launch pads to where you are now / the journey / the battles and the victories. You choose how you view your past. You can rewrite your past by giving new empowering headings. Not seeing it all as a blurred mess or full of regrets and disasters. There’s good in every situation. So search for it and reframe it so it no longer haunts you. Our mistakes and pain are not the ending, they are lessons and launch pads to something greater. You define your past.

2. COLLECT THE BLESSINGS - As you look back over, collect some of the lessons you learnt from your past, some of what helped you become who you are today (positive and negative). Look for the hidden blessings, the wins, the things to be thankful for.

3. WHAT’S RULING YOU NOW. Look at your life now. Are there any areas in your life that you have let your past define? Maybe how you see yourself? Maybe how you see or treat others? How you let others treat you? What you constantly think about? Your attitude to things? What activities you engage in? How you feel about people or circumstances?

What experiences or words have you let define you?

Now you get to CHOOSE. You choose how you define those experiences, words and who you are today.

Sweet one, don’t let your past make you bitter, trapped, worthless... You define it. You define you. 💜Ruth

You're a Limited Edition

“I was a little over two when I realized that beauty mattered, way too young for a little girl to discover whether she was beautiful or not. I loved watching and participating in fashion shows at an early age and I loved watching beauty pageants. I was a little girl who loved anything to do with pretty dresses, high heels, and sparkles. This girly love wasn’t all together a bad thing, until I let it define and take over me. However, once my quest for beauty began is when I lost it all.

Mirrors tortured and taunted me, no matter what anyone else said. Every time I heard the words, “You’re beautiful.” it was all I could do not to laugh, because there was no way I could have believed it.

The mirror is where I found my truth. If the mirror said I looked good (which it rarely did) than the day would go well and if the mirror showed that one hair was out of place than game over. For me, overcoming my beauty issues had a whole heck of a lot to do with me not seeing myself as beautiful. They were all lies and I know that now but it can still be difficult. It didn’t just happen overnight and it certainly didn’t happen without a whole lot of work. As a woman, I think I can safely say that I believe all women struggle with the idea of beauty and feeling beautiful. We live in a society that is rampant with ideas of beauty, false, unattainable, unrealistic standards of beauty. It wasn’t until I finally realized and accepted that beauty wasn’t in a made up face, it wasn’t in high fashioned clothes, it wasn’t in a size zero, that it began to sink in.

What I realized was that no one could be beautiful like me and no one could be beautiful like you, because we are one of a kind, limited additions. My friend there is no one in the world just like you and that is more beautiful than you will ever know.” Beautiful words and heart from MK

Excuses or Discipline

We can make an excuse for everything. But do we want our lives to be a series of excuses or of actions, exciting experiences, growth, goals achieved, habits changed, adventures, living life to the full? You are strong. Your excuses can be strong too. But you get to choose who wins.

Recently I heard a definition of DISCIPLINE that really helped >> Discipline is choosing between what you want NOW and what you want MOST.

The short-term pay off OR the long-term prize.

The short-term pay off (instant pleasure / desire, temporary comfort, wants etc) OR the long-term prize (lasting change, deeper desire, growth, maturity, lasting pleasure, joy, peace, health etc). xo
We get to choose the pain. The pain of discipline now or the pain of excuses, consequences and regret later. We get to choose which pain we embrace

Yes it can be painful to not give in to excuses - it's tough! It can feel more comfortable, easy and safe to make excuses. But stepping out, being disciplined, taking risks, making changes may feel painful/challenging to start but well worth it.

So lovely friend, what will you CHOOSE? We're standing with you and cheering you on. We've all got excuses and things we need to be disciplined in. Let's do this together.

What excuses do you hear yourself repeating? What excuses do you want to let go of? What do you need to be disciplined in? You are strong enough. You are not alone x
💜Ruth x

Your Story Has Purpose

Comparison will rob you of beauty of the season YOU are in, of the unique journey YOU are on, of the courageous steps YOU take, of the big and small wins YOU make, of the story only YOU can tell. We are all on a journey - different paths, different paces, different places. We are all different. And if we compare our chapters, we'll loose the significance and purpose of the pages WE are walking out. Not only will we miss out, but so will everybody else - because no one else has your journey. No one else can tell your story. No one else can encourage others with exactly where you're at. No one else can do you.

So next time we feel tempted to fast forward our story or skip ahead to someone else's, remember your story has purpose. Your story matters. The chapter you are in is yours. No matter where others seem to be up to, your perfectly timed in your chapter. One step at a time.

Have you ever felt inadequate by comparing your chapter with someone else's?
I know I sure have. But no longer.
💜Ruth

Don't Hide What Makes You Real

"Why do we hide what makes us most beautiful? Why do we so often deny our own brokenness? If only we could embrace the very thing we try so tirelessly to conceal...If we could turn our gaze toward the people all around us, we would see that we're not that different after all. Yes, we're all broken; but not without purpose. The brokenness has the power to transform us into the most beautiful mosaic—a glorious and artful display of a life lived well and worthy of love. No need for hiding." Beautiful words from @tiffanyrowe23

Lovely friend, don't hide what makes you REAL and beautiful and unique and shine like no one else x

Look Forward With Hope

The past is in the past. What? So why do we keep bringing it up again as if it's in our future. Not letting it go, but dragging it around wherever we go. Taking it with us into new relationships, new opportunities, new situations. Wearing it as a lens we see our present and future through. And than get confused why we keep repeating the past or feeling like we're still living in it. Well of course we would if we keep holding onto it and putting it in front of each step we take instead of behind us.

But no longer. We can see the past as what it is - the past. Yes it happened, but we choose how we respond. We can choose what lessons we take from it. We choose how we define it. We choose to leave it in the past and have an unwritten future - one we get to write.

We can choose to look forward with hope, knowing that everything is possible, that our past does not define our future, that we get to create it with the choices we make. And then recreate it again with new choices. And again.

So dear friend, no matter what's happened in the past, you get to create your future. Whatever your currently facing right now won't last forever. Hold onto hope and leave the past where it belongs - in the past.

👉💙👉 What's something you've learnt or gained from something you've faced in the past? How can you take the lesson and leave the rest behind? x
💜Ruth x

Go Girl!

Go girl! Let's REBEL AGAINST our culture's unrealistic expectations of perfectionism, comparison and the constant messages of NOT ENOUGH.

Let's be our own kind of TREND SETTERS. Those who define our own worth - not based on how others see us, but because we are loved, we belong, and we are more than enough, just as we are (all always true, not matter how we feel). Those who embrace and celebrate our REAL identity and value. Those who CHOOSE the life we want to live. Those who accept ourselves and others. Those who celebrate and support others to be all they can be. Those who stand up for those who can't, for what they believe in and are passionate about. Those who chase THEIR dreams. Those who live without fear of others opinions. Those who look for beauty in everything. Those who build up not tear down. Those who embrace not exclude. Those who love not hate. Those just like you, the REAL you.

Remember, this is a daily journey. Step by step. Yes we fall. Yes we find ourselves camouflaged in our culture's norms. Yes we forget our worth. Yes we can crumple under the pressure. Yes we don't always get it right. And that's ok. That's part of the journey. Be kind to yourself as you figure it out.

>> How do/can you rebel against our culture's pressures? You go girl! We salute you 🎉👌💙😍💜👊💃.
💜Ruth x

What Defines You

Your past struggles, heartache, and scars may have helped shape you into who you are but they do not define you. Your past may have made you stronger but it doesn’t dictate how you get to live your life. May your past tell the story of how you became who you are but may you never let it tell you who you are going to be now. - MK @marthakatestainsby

You get to choose how you see your past, what labels you give each chapter, what you gain from it, what you bring into your future and what you leave behind. It's all your choice. You define it. And you define who you are today and tomorrow.

What experiences or words have you let define you?

Sweet one, don't let your past make you bitter, trapped, worthless... You get to CHOOSE. You choose how you define those experiences, words and who you are today.

QOTD - What's one thing you've grown from or learnt through your past? What can you be thankful for? x
💜Ruth

Just Keep Swimming

For those days when the waves just keep coming, when your energy is low and your emotions are high, when you feel like you're sinking or wading through shallows... Advice from our fishy friend Dory - "🎶just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming🎶". One swish at a time. You'll get there lovely.

And remember, not matter how deep in the depths of the waters you feel, the surface is always above you - that doesn't change - there is always a way up and out. It can take some time to reach the surface, but it's there, don't loose hope sweet one. And as Dori did, you meet some pretty interesting characters along the way if you look out for them. Even in those darkest caves, they still found light and something to be encouraged by - look for your light moments too and just keep swimming. We're swimming with you x

What Lies Are Holding You Back

"For the last five years I have been in recovery from an eating disorder. When I was in the deepest darkest days of my eating disorder, beauty meant one thing, it meant being thin.

However, no matter how desperately thin I got, it was never enough. I could never see myself as beautiful, only ugly. My view of myself was defined in something temporary, in something that the world tells me is important - my size, perfection, accessories. My beauty was defined by my physical appearance, which is something that will never be perfect. It was all lies". MK

So some of the lies holding MK back were around her physical appearance
- You are beautiful when you're thin.
- You have to look like the girls in magazines to be liked.
For me, some of the lies holding me back were
- You are accepted based on how others treat you.
- You have to prove yourself and your worth to others.
- You are not enough.
- You don't belong.
- There's something wrong with you.

These lies will keep us trapped and distort our real identity and worth.

To get free from the lies, we first need to know what lies we are believing about ourselves.

So let's take some time to uncover those sneaky lies that have camouflaged themselves as reality in our mind. Talk with a friend. Write down unhelpful things you say to yourself or believe about yourself. What is holding you back? What stops you feeling free? Let's uncover these lies and start journeying to freedom.

Would you courageously share some of your lies to help others uncover theirs? And to release the power of them being hidden in shame - you have nothing to feel shamed about. We all have believed lies - they are NOT who we are. They are false. Speak it out. Let's start believing the truth. We're standing with you x
💜Ruth and the ChooseREAL Team x
Thank you MK for sharing your courageous story with us and empowering us all

Sharing the Journey Together

Hey lovely, how's your week been? Thinking of you x

Mines been a bit up and down with sickness, extreme exhaustion, feeling unproductive, at times overwhelmed, giving into some discouraging thoughts - yep even after I wrote that post!! So then feeling hard on myself and needing to stop, be kind and speak the truth over my life - still learning with you.

This week has also had some big wins, meeting amazing people who are generously supporting the vision of this movement and standing with us, hearing incredible stories, eating food (always a plus haha), having a wonderful team to help organize our beautiful merch and resources (their hearts inspire me), and last night I ran a workshop with some beautiful girls - all unique with so much gold to share with those around them.

THIS is what I love doing - investing into their potential, peeling back the layers of limiting beliefs and self-talk that have distorted their REAL identity and worth and empowering them to see what was always there - they are whole, complete, not lacking, worthy and more than enough, just as they are! Seeing their transformation gives me the fire to keep going, to kick those audacious goals I've set to give this freedom, hope and courage to ALL girls and women everywhere. Haha, got a little carried away with that last point - just so incredibly passionate about this and LOVE journeying alongside girls and women in this message.

So why did I tell you about my week? Because we're friends. Because I wanted you to feel comfortable to share about yours. Because we're all here for each other and our story is worth sharing - no matter what chapter.

So share away lovely friend. You never know the impact of simply sharing (for you and others). Love sharing this journey together.
💜Ruth x
📷 from the beautiful @floretflower

Progress Over Perfection

The illusion of perfection is that it will be everything you’ve ever wanted and more. Perfection says, that suddenly when you get there all will be right. However, what perfection doesn’t tell you is that it is not real. Nope not one thing about perfection is real. It's impossible. It can never be attained.

So what if today you strived for progress over perfection? What if you believed that first step was a big deal, that small change was actually huge? What if you believed that progress was even better than perfection? When progress becomes the goal over perfection you allow a whole more light and beauty to seep in to your life.

Instead of always feeling like you're constantly failing, you allow yourself to actually WIN - every step you make. Instead of being so focused on getting it right, you allow yourself to actually enjoy the journey - messes and all.

So let's aim for progress and celebrate each step. What's a step you can celebrate from last week with us? x

Some Things To Do When You're Feeling Blue

Sometimes I'll wake up and just feel flat. Sometimes I'll get home after a great day and for no particular reason I feel down, without anything bad happening. Sometimes I feel sad because of certain events.
Emotions can come and go as quickly as a sneeze. There's nothing wrong with feeling. In fact, it's a good thing. But sometimes we feel stuck in that emotion, like we can't climb out. We need perspective. We need to acknowledge the feeling, the pain, the circumstance, find healing and move through that emotion.
These are just a few things we can do when feeling blue. Sometimes we just need a change of scene or shift our mind to something else or remember all the good.
However if you're continuing struggling, and nothing seems to work, please talk to a trusted person and seek help to work through the root of these feelings. You are not alone and there are many people out there that want to be a part of your journey. We all need help in life. It's normal.
What are some of the things you do when feeling blue? x

Just Breathe

Breathe, just breathe. Starting another week can be tough for some of us, feeling already so exhausted and even overwhelmed before we've even started. But remember, you made it through last week, and the week before, and the week before that. And you'll make it through this week too.
Let's reframe our perspective and focus, so we don't keep dwelling on the challenges but feel energized and inspired.
Here's a few things we can do, we'll be doing them with you:
• write down everything that's on your mind - all your to dos, your concerns, thoughts etc. Get them out of your mind and onto paper, where you can start to sort through them and find solutions, let go of things you can't change and do the things you can.
• prioritize - what are the top 3 things you need to get done today
• remind yourself and celebrate your wins - write down 3 things you've overcome or achieved last week - can be big or small... Like finished or started something, got through something, learnt something etc. • write down 3 different things you're thankful for everyday - really boosts your perspective
• do something you love everyday - even if it's just for 5 mins. Something that brings you joy and satisfaction, something you're passionate about, something for you
• keep your focus on your WHY not the challenge or task. When you start to feel overwhelmed, it's usually because you are so focused on the task or challenges. Step back, look up and remind yourself of why you're doing what you're doing, the passion, the meaning, the value behind it. Focus on that - let that be the motivator. You can even put it up somewhere you can see it regularly - words, statement, pictures, whatever inspires you and reminds you of your why.
• remind yourself of your worth and value. Your words create reality. So speak words of life over you and those around you. Repeat: I AM WORTHY. I BELONG. I AM STRONG. I AM... You fill in the blank. Remind yourself and continually repeat until you believe and live out what you're saying.
Breathe. You've got this. It's a brand new day and you are more than capable.
Share where you're at, how some of these points went, what are your tips to start the week x

You Are Not Alone

Been there for sure and actually feeling it right now... For no particular reason, I've just been feeling flat lately. Maybe because I've been sick for weeks. Maybe because sometimes progress is just really slow. Maybe because I've been waiting for some really big provisions and dreams that haven't happened yet. Maybe because I'm really exhausted. Maybe because I haven't made time to get out in nature. Maybe because some of my friends are facing huge challenges and I can't fix it for them. Maybe because I haven't been sleeping well. Maybe because everything feels cluttered. Maybe because this journey can be lonely at times. Maybe because of some disappointments. Maybe because of all these things together. Or maybe because it's just one of those days.

I'm not sure where you're at, but lovely one, know that wherever you're at right now is ok and you are not alone. We all struggle, we all face challenges and change. We all have emotions and feelings and thoughts and don't always know how to cope with them.
And even if we do, we don't always do what we know is best for us - yep me.
So let me encourage you in my struggle... No matter what you're facing or feeling, you are not alone. And this won't last forever. You CAN get through this. And we're standing with you.

Do something that will bring you rest, refresh you, put a smile on your face, re-energize you. When we are just focusing on the struggle, that's all we'll experience. So try and lift your gaze to search for all the blessings around you, be thankful, give to others, encourage someone else, remember the purpose, do things you love.
For me, I'm thinking a hot bubble bath, cooking delicious food, talk with a friend and get an early night. And I really need to clean haha.
We need to be kind to ourselves, especially when things are hard. What can you do to take care of yourself today? What is something you love doing? What is one practical thing you can do to take action in your struggle? What is something you are thankful for? Take time out for you x
💜Ruth

See Your Worth

"On the days you compare yourself to someone else. On the days you burst into tears several times because you are unhappy with your reflection in the mirror. On the days you wonder what is your purpose and on the days when someone isn't kind to you. On these days you need to remember that who you are comparing yourself to is making comparisons to someone else. On these days you need to remind yourself we all have these days. On these days you need to give yourself a break. On these days you need to know just how worthy you are and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.” Love this from our sisters at @thegirlcampaign.

You are more than enough, just as you are.
If you need help seeing your own worth, you’re in good company and we’re here to journey with you through the process. Not an overnight pill, but daily choices to believe the truth about who you really are. You are worthy. We’re all in it together x

Time to Stop People Pleasing

"Hey you, you sweet people pleaser, it's time to stop. I hate to say it, but you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea (I'm more of a coffee girl, anyway!) If you're out there trying to be everything to everyone, chances are you aren't the happiest princess in the land and that makes me sad!
The truth is, we don't need to show up for everyone. In fact, when we focus on showing up for our tribe well, and forget about the rest, they fade off, and we build this sweet community that does big things, GIANT things!
People will inspire you or drain you, so stop trying to make everyone happy and choose wisely! Surround yourself with the good ones, the dreamers, the kind souls, the people who reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel.
It's contagious (and when all else fails, eat a giant spoon of Nutella and call it good!)" Jenna Kutcher

Let's have a chocolatey kind of weekend chasing our own kind of happiness. Who's been inspiring you lately? Give them a shout out x

📷quote and pic by the amazing @jennakutcher

What Will You Choose This Week

You choose. Make this week count. Excuses are easy, common, feel safe and known... But what makes change requires strength and courage (sometimes to step into the unknown)... Qualities YOU posses. Progress requires action. Even just one step. But it's your choice.

What will you choose this week? What is an area in your life that you want to change, or improve or let go of? What's one small step you can take forward? Remember, you are not alone. And there's nothing wrong with you. We're all on a journey of progress and growth x

Choose Your Focus

So your week might not have worked out like you planned (mine certainly didn't). But that doesn't mean today can't be a brand new day. And even if those circumstances haven't changed or even get worse, there's still always a reason to say YAY.
You may feel flat and disappointed (like me), or even worse, but we still have something that can never be taken away - to CHOOSE OUR ATTITUDE / FOCUS / ACTIONS.
And really, I want to have a great day, so I'm letting go of what's happened and what didn't happen and choosing to find the good in what's right in front of me. Being thankful for where I am right now. Looking for moments to whisper YAY! Today, no matter what happens, I want to end it saying yay > even for the smallest of things.

What are you wanting to focus on today? What attitude are you choosing? x

Remember, no matter what's happened, you are MORE THAN ENOUGH! 💜Ruth x

P.S. If you feel you can't choose your attitude, there's no hope, why bother >> don't struggle alone, reach out, we're here for you, there's always a way, and it's ok not to be ok right now. Just don't do it alone. Your story is worth sharing and not over yet x

📷omghow

It's a New Day

Don't let yesterday ruin today. It's a new day. Let's start over. So yesterday was really hard and challenging for me, but that doesn't mean that today has to be. Even if I let my mind be filled with discouragement and didn't fight hard enough against it... Yesterday is over. Today is a fresh start. A chance to try again. To make progress. To shift my mindset. Life can be hard and it's ok not to be ok... But not to stay there. Acknowledge the challenges and make one tiny step forward.
Don't let yesterday ruin today. It is a new day. So breathe, let go of whatever happened or didn't happen and just be. Today, you get to choose - moment by moment.
Breathe in those warm rays and remind yourself you are enough, no matter what. 💜 Ruth x