Have you heard of kintsugi? It’s the art of repairing broken pottery with gold. This process beautifies the breakage and treats it as an important part of the object’s history, therefore valuing fractures instead of disguising them or glossing over them. The process typically results in something far more beautiful and stronger than the original.
We all get trapped in "shoulds", "woulds", "what ifs"... but you don't have to be anything other than who you really are. I know I did this - I would try and change myself to what I thought others wanted, to fit in. Letting go of who I was to be like everyone else. But it was confusing, lonely, empty. I didn't feel accepted because I didn't accept myself.
No matter what you're facing right now, remember, you are MORE THAN ENOUGH! Whether you feel like you're failing (been there), don't know your next step, heartbroken, struggling to feel ok, overwhelmed, confused, hurting, empty or full... Nothing changes the fact that you have intrinsic worth and value. NOTHING! It's who you are.
No matter what life throws at you this week, remember you are strong, courageous and capable of amazing things. But it's not about what you do, it's about who you are becoming. Let that be the focus this week.
What attitude do you want to take into this week? What perspective? What do you want to focus on? Who do you choose to be? How do you choose to see yourself? As amazing and more than enough? We hope so! You get to choose.
Choose what empowers you. You can be your own cheer squad or worst enemy. Let's speak words of life over ourselves and others today, let's call out who we really are, let's see the best not the worst, let speak into our potential, let's be kind and give ourselves and others grace. Let's remember, we are all unique and more than enough.
Often we need reminding, so don't wait for someone else to. Be the encouragement you need - write it down, repeat it over and over, put a post-it on the mirror, in your diary, wherever you look regularly. We all need reminding sometimes. Let's take the first step x
When I was in high school, I allowed people and experiences and perceptions to define me. To tell me if I was good enough - which I didn't hear. To give me worth and value - which I didn't feel.
I didn't know who I really was, so tried to mould myself to be accepted, to fit in, to be like those around me. But I was left feeling empty, confused and alone.
This was not who I was, this was not who I wanted to be. I was loosing my true self in an attempt to fit in to those around me. Trying to figure out being me but feeling less-than, not knowing my true worth and value and letting others blind me from it.
This was one of the most challenging times in my life. But what was at the core was not accepting my value and worth. Not embracing and celebrating my own identity - whether it "fit" into others or not. Not knowing that I defined me, no one else. Not giving myself grace as I figure it all out.
If I could give my younger self some advice, I'd say, sweet girl, you don't need to be like anyone else. You are unique. You have qualities that no one else has. Find people who you admire and share your values. Don't let the words and actions of others define you - it is all coming from their own insecurities. Keep being kind to everyone. Be kind to yourself. Be for others who you wish other people would be for you (treat them how you'd want to be treated). Don't compare! And know that no matter what, you are MORE THAN ENOUGH, just as you are.
- Are you finding you are loosing yourself to "fit in" with others? o
- What advice would you share with a friend? What advice would you tell your younger self? o
- Do your friends allow and encourage you to be yourself? Do you encourage your friends to be themselves? o
Sweet girl, we need you to be you! There's no one else that can "fit in" to that amazing role. Only you. 💜Ruth x
"People who really want to make a difference in the world usually do it, in one way or another. And I’ve noticed something about people who make a difference in the world: They hold the unshakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters. They get excited over one smile. They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound. They aren’t determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes. Over time, though, the small changes add up. Sometimes they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world.
People who want to make a difference get frustrated along the way. But if they have a particularly stressful day, they don’t quit. They keep going. Given their accomplishments, most of them are shockingly normal and the way they spend each day can be quite mundane. They don’t teach grand lessons that suddenly enlighten entire communities; they teach small lessons that can bring incremental improvement to one man or woman, boy or girl. They don’t do anything to CALL attention to themselves, they simply PAY attention to the everyday needs of others, even if it’s only one person. They bring change in ways most people will never read about or applaud. And because of the way these world-changers are wired, they wouldn’t think of living their lives any other way" - Beth Clark, Kisses From Katie.
We can ALL change the world for those around us, one impact, one life at a time. It doesn't need to be huge and grand, but small, individual moments of caring, supporting, meeting needs, bringing joy, welcoming, sharing, listening, including, celebrating, and simply just being there. Although they may be smaller actions, they could be the greatest gift for someone else.
Who's world can you change today? YOU can be a world-changer x
💜Ruth
How often do we look at other peoples' lives and wish ours were different. Comparing our bloopers with their highlight reel. Wishing away our unique talents and gifts for some of theirs. But lovely one, they are only showing us what they WANT us to see. We're not seeing the whole picture. Most are not showing us how they failed that exam, their bad hair day, how they stayed in bed all day - feeling too overwhelmed to get up, the breakout on their face, how they cried themselves to sleep, when they stayed at home coz they didn't have anyone to hang out with, the mess around their house etc... And sometimes if they do, it's with a specific purpose for attention.
I am definitely not talking about all the amazing accounts out there that are truly being real and vulnerable about their lives - sharing the good and challenging and genuinely inviting others into their story, empowering us to know that we are not alone. These beautiful people are raw and honest and their aim is to inspire and empower.
No, I'm just wanting us NOT TO COMPARE our lives with anyone. To know that usually, we are not seeing the whole picture, we are seeing through a filter. And we can't compare our raw, unfiltered lives with the edited, cropped lives we see around us. Let's think about it, do you usually show everyone around you all your struggles and failures and breakdown and fears and worries and insecurities and bloopers? Maybe not. So why would they?
Comparing will rob us of the joy of our own lives.
So let's remember this week as we look at the lives around us - we are only seeing part of the picture and it could be through a filter. Let's not get bitter, but celebrate others and be thankful for what we have.
What's one thing in your life you are thankful for?
Thanks for journeying with us! We're all in this together.
💜Ruth x
Who else feels like this? When there is so much going on, so many things to do, so many things trying to distract our identity, distort our view, grab our attention - good or bad... We can feel on overload, overwhelm, likes there's just too many tabs open in our mind. Sometimes it's really hard to sort through them, to have clarity around even a few, to feel so overwhelmed that we can't even do any of it, don't know where to start.
I've been there for sure! In fact I'm feeling that way right now - just so many things going on that its hard to know where to start, what to focus on, sometimes I'd rather do nothing.
So what can we do when we feel way too many tabs are open? Well like when your computer is slowing down, crashing, force quitting things - and you realize there's too much open, you start closing things down, only leaving open what you need for the moment. Of course your computer can't work efficiently or properly when it's so cluttered. Same with us. Of course you can't expect yourself to feel at peace, to get through things, to make changes when your mind is so cluttered and full.
So let's have a SPRING CLEAN OUT together! One of the best ways is to write your thoughts down - then you can start to categorize them and declutter.
Write down everything you're thinking, what you're worrying about, waiting for, wishing for, needing/wanting to do, plans, goals, fears, struggles, limiting beliefs, self-talk... Get it all out. Whatever comes up, write it down - even simply dot point it.
Then start to sort through it... You can categorize it
- what needs to get thrown out - you can literally throw in the bin
- what is for later - don't need to think about them now - put on a separate list - you can break these down into next week / month / term / year / 2 years etc
- what is urgent AND important - top priorities - feel free to order these too. Also best to write a NEXT STEP ACTION for each
- helpful, encouraging thoughts / self-talk
- anything that doesn't serve you well goes
Let's declutter our brains and focus on the thoughts that inspire and lift us up x
💜Ruth
We believe in YOU! But do you? Oh girl, I've been there. Thinking I didn't have what it takes, I wasn't enough, I've stuffed up too many times, I don't have what she has, I don't look like her, I've never done that before, I'm not worth it, no one sees me, what have I got to offer... But what we believe about ourselves is vitally important. It will either limit us or empower us.
What are you believing about yourself? What lies have you believed? Let's exchange and replace them with the truth of who you really are. You are valuable, you are worthy, you are strong, you are courageous, you are significant, you are loved, you are capable, you belong... Here's just a few truths about you to get you started.
How is it that we can so often see the worth and significance of those around us, but are blinded to what's in us.
Let's walk into this week knowing who we truly are.
What believes do you need to let go of? What believes do you need to reaffirm?
So grateful to share this journey together x
💜Ruth
Oh yes you do. It’s not your past, not their labels of you, not those words spoken over you, not their expectations or disappointments, not how you look or feel, not how the world sees you, not your mistakes or even your triumphs, but how YOU SAY you are.
You get to choose how you see your past, what labels you give each chapter, what you gain from it, what you bring into your future and what you leave behind. It’s all your choice. You define it. And you define who you are today and tomorrow.
P R A C T I C A L S T E P S
1. RE-LABEL - Think back over your past and the major themes, events, chapters (good and bad). Give them all new labels / chapter headings. Ones that speak into the lessons / the growth / the hidden blessings looking back / the launch pads to where you are now / the journey / the battles and the victories. You choose how you view your past. You can rewrite your past by giving new empowering headings. Not seeing it all as a blurred mess or full of regrets and disasters. There’s good in every situation. So search for it and reframe it so it no longer haunts you. Our mistakes and pain are not the ending, they are lessons and launch pads to something greater. You define your past.
2. COLLECT THE BLESSINGS - As you look back over, collect some of the lessons you learnt from your past, some of what helped you become who you are today (positive and negative). Look for the hidden blessings, the wins, the things to be thankful for.
3. WHAT’S RULING YOU NOW. Look at your life now. Are there any areas in your life that you have let your past define? Maybe how you see yourself? Maybe how you see or treat others? How you let others treat you? What you constantly think about? Your attitude to things? What activities you engage in? How you feel about people or circumstances?
What experiences or words have you let define you?
Now you get to CHOOSE. You choose how you define those experiences, words and who you are today.
Sweet one, don’t let your past make you bitter, trapped, worthless... You define it. You define you. 💜Ruth
“I was a little over two when I realized that beauty mattered, way too young for a little girl to discover whether she was beautiful or not. I loved watching and participating in fashion shows at an early age and I loved watching beauty pageants. I was a little girl who loved anything to do with pretty dresses, high heels, and sparkles. This girly love wasn’t all together a bad thing, until I let it define and take over me. However, once my quest for beauty began is when I lost it all.
Mirrors tortured and taunted me, no matter what anyone else said. Every time I heard the words, “You’re beautiful.” it was all I could do not to laugh, because there was no way I could have believed it.
The mirror is where I found my truth. If the mirror said I looked good (which it rarely did) than the day would go well and if the mirror showed that one hair was out of place than game over. For me, overcoming my beauty issues had a whole heck of a lot to do with me not seeing myself as beautiful. They were all lies and I know that now but it can still be difficult. It didn’t just happen overnight and it certainly didn’t happen without a whole lot of work. As a woman, I think I can safely say that I believe all women struggle with the idea of beauty and feeling beautiful. We live in a society that is rampant with ideas of beauty, false, unattainable, unrealistic standards of beauty. It wasn’t until I finally realized and accepted that beauty wasn’t in a made up face, it wasn’t in high fashioned clothes, it wasn’t in a size zero, that it began to sink in.
What I realized was that no one could be beautiful like me and no one could be beautiful like you, because we are one of a kind, limited additions. My friend there is no one in the world just like you and that is more beautiful than you will ever know.” Beautiful words and heart from MK
