You don't have to have it all together

My friend Nicola said the other day to a group of us on zoom, “you don’t need to thrive right now, just survive. You don’t need to have it all sorted or tick all the boxes, this is all new and challenging and something we’ve never faced before, just take it one day at a time”.

I think sometimes we expect too much of ourselves - like we should know how to deal with something we’ve never faced before, or we should be doing this or not that or start this.

But I think now is the perfect time to really practice grace and kindness.

If you don’t have much capacity or motivation right now, you are not alone. Can I encourage you to give yourself permission not to strive for productivity and pivot, but pause, rest, retreat, refill, slow down. That is a totally valid and helpful response too.

Corona seems to be amplifying many people’s struggles, especially loneliness, fear, comparison, burn out, etc.

Let’s take it one day at a time. Add one extra step each day. We’re all figuring it out on the way.

We need kindness now more than ever - to each other AND ourselves.

👉🏻 What’s one way you can show kindness?

💜Ruth x

📸 @karma_collective

You Are Amazing

No matter what life throws at you this week, remember you are strong, courageous and capable of amazing things. But it's not about what you do, it's about who you are becoming. Let that be the focus this week.

What attitude do you want to take into this week? What perspective? What do you want to focus on? Who do you choose to be? How do you choose to see yourself? As amazing and more than enough? We hope so! You get to choose.

Choose what empowers you. You can be your own cheer squad or worst enemy. Let's speak words of life over ourselves and others today, let's call out who we really are, let's see the best not the worst, let speak into our potential, let's be kind and give ourselves and others grace. Let's remember, we are all unique and more than enough.

Often we need reminding, so don't wait for someone else to. Be the encouragement you need - write it down, repeat it over and over, put a post-it on the mirror, in your diary, wherever you look regularly. We all need reminding sometimes. Let's take the first step x

It's Better to be Yourself

When I was in high school, I allowed people and experiences and perceptions to define me. To tell me if I was good enough - which I didn't hear. To give me worth and value - which I didn't feel.

I didn't know who I really was, so tried to mould myself to be accepted, to fit in, to be like those around me. But I was left feeling empty, confused and alone.

This was not who I was, this was not who I wanted to be. I was loosing my true self in an attempt to fit in to those around me. Trying to figure out being me but feeling less-than, not knowing my true worth and value and letting others blind me from it.

This was one of the most challenging times in my life. But what was at the core was not accepting my value and worth. Not embracing and celebrating my own identity - whether it "fit" into others or not. Not knowing that I defined me, no one else. Not giving myself grace as I figure it all out.

If I could give my younger self some advice, I'd say, sweet girl, you don't need to be like anyone else. You are unique. You have qualities that no one else has. Find people who you admire and share your values. Don't let the words and actions of others define you - it is all coming from their own insecurities. Keep being kind to everyone. Be kind to yourself. Be for others who you wish other people would be for you (treat them how you'd want to be treated). Don't compare! And know that no matter what, you are MORE THAN ENOUGH, just as you are.

- Are you finding you are loosing yourself to "fit in" with others? o
- What advice would you share with a friend? What advice would you tell your younger self? o
- Do your friends allow and encourage you to be yourself? Do you encourage your friends to be themselves? o

Sweet girl, we need you to be you! There's no one else that can "fit in" to that amazing role. Only you. 💜Ruth x

You Can Be A World Changer

"People who really want to make a difference in the world usually do it, in one way or another. And I’ve noticed something about people who make a difference in the world: They hold the unshakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters. They get excited over one smile. They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound. They aren’t determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes. Over time, though, the small changes add up. Sometimes they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world.

People who want to make a difference get frustrated along the way. But if they have a particularly stressful day, they don’t quit. They keep going. Given their accomplishments, most of them are shockingly normal and the way they spend each day can be quite mundane. They don’t teach grand lessons that suddenly enlighten entire communities; they teach small lessons that can bring incremental improvement to one man or woman, boy or girl. They don’t do anything to CALL attention to themselves, they simply PAY attention to the everyday needs of others, even if it’s only one person. They bring change in ways most people will never read about or applaud. And because of the way these world-changers are wired, they wouldn’t think of living their lives any other way" - Beth Clark, Kisses From Katie.

We can ALL change the world for those around us, one impact, one life at a time. It doesn't need to be huge and grand, but small, individual moments of caring, supporting, meeting needs, bringing joy, welcoming, sharing, listening, including, celebrating, and simply just being there. Although they may be smaller actions, they could be the greatest gift for someone else.

Who's world can you change today? YOU can be a world-changer x
💜Ruth

Comparing Our Bloopers to Their Highlight Reel

How often do we look at other peoples' lives and wish ours were different. Comparing our bloopers with their highlight reel. Wishing away our unique talents and gifts for some of theirs. But lovely one, they are only showing us what they WANT us to see. We're not seeing the whole picture. Most are not showing us how they failed that exam, their bad hair day, how they stayed in bed all day - feeling too overwhelmed to get up, the breakout on their face, how they cried themselves to sleep, when they stayed at home coz they didn't have anyone to hang out with, the mess around their house etc... And sometimes if they do, it's with a specific purpose for attention.

I am definitely not talking about all the amazing accounts out there that are truly being real and vulnerable about their lives - sharing the good and challenging and genuinely inviting others into their story, empowering us to know that we are not alone. These beautiful people are raw and honest and their aim is to inspire and empower.

No, I'm just wanting us NOT TO COMPARE our lives with anyone. To know that usually, we are not seeing the whole picture, we are seeing through a filter. And we can't compare our raw, unfiltered lives with the edited, cropped lives we see around us. Let's think about it, do you usually show everyone around you all your struggles and failures and breakdown and fears and worries and insecurities and bloopers? Maybe not. So why would they?
Comparing will rob us of the joy of our own lives.

So let's remember this week as we look at the lives around us - we are only seeing part of the picture and it could be through a filter. Let's not get bitter, but celebrate others and be thankful for what we have.

What's one thing in your life you are thankful for?

Thanks for journeying with us! We're all in this together.
💜Ruth x

Spring Clean of our Thoughts

Who else feels like this? When there is so much going on, so many things to do, so many things trying to distract our identity, distort our view, grab our attention - good or bad... We can feel on overload, overwhelm, likes there's just too many tabs open in our mind. Sometimes it's really hard to sort through them, to have clarity around even a few, to feel so overwhelmed that we can't even do any of it, don't know where to start.

I've been there for sure! In fact I'm feeling that way right now - just so many things going on that its hard to know where to start, what to focus on, sometimes I'd rather do nothing.

So what can we do when we feel way too many tabs are open? Well like when your computer is slowing down, crashing, force quitting things - and you realize there's too much open, you start closing things down, only leaving open what you need for the moment. Of course your computer can't work efficiently or properly when it's so cluttered. Same with us. Of course you can't expect yourself to feel at peace, to get through things, to make changes when your mind is so cluttered and full.

So let's have a SPRING CLEAN OUT together! One of the best ways is to write your thoughts down - then you can start to categorize them and declutter.

Write down everything you're thinking, what you're worrying about, waiting for, wishing for, needing/wanting to do, plans, goals, fears, struggles, limiting beliefs, self-talk... Get it all out. Whatever comes up, write it down - even simply dot point it.

Then start to sort through it... You can categorize it
- what needs to get thrown out - you can literally throw in the bin
- what is for later - don't need to think about them now - put on a separate list - you can break these down into next week / month / term / year / 2 years etc
- what is urgent AND important - top priorities - feel free to order these too. Also best to write a NEXT STEP ACTION for each
- helpful, encouraging thoughts / self-talk
- anything that doesn't serve you well goes

Let's declutter our brains and focus on the thoughts that inspire and lift us up x
💜Ruth

What Makes You Happy

Here's what brain research says will MAKE YOU HAPPY:
1. Ask "What am I grateful for?" If you don't have any answers? Doesn't matter. Just searching helps.
Booster - write down 3 things you're thankful for today.
2. Label those negative emotions. Give it a name and your brain isn't so bothered by it.
Booster - try and be aware of the emotions you experience today - label them, even if you're not sure what they are, just give them a name, even Bob!
3. Decide. Go for "good enough" instead of "best decision ever made on Earth". o
Booster - make decisions today and take action. Even if you need to change them later, at least you tried and started.
4. Hugs, hugs, hugs. Don't text — touch.
Booster - go interact with people today. Hang out with friends, family, encourage someone.

But also know, it's ok not to always be ok. However you're feeling, let it help you find out what's going on for you, what might need to change, where you might need help. Feelings are good. Just try to let them show you something, instead of letting them rule you. But of course, they are times when we just need help to sort through all the feelings - it's too overwhelming, and that's ok and normal. You're not alone.
xo